 |
| What happens when you stay up 'til 1 am reading and the cat goes to bed before you... |
I've been thinking a lot about relationships and about my past (and inevitably my future) when it comes to relationships. I've been thinking about coworker relationships, family relationships, friend relationships, and relationship-relationships. It never ceases to amaze me how much I learn all the time from the interactions I have with others. I often question why people are the way they are. What factors make "x" person deal with situations in "y" way? Was something in their childhood awful, so they learned "that thing" as a way of coping? Did they really get burned by someone at work and have their defenses up all the time? Are they scared because of a personal relationship? What is it? Obviously I'm not going to ask these questions of someone unless we're really really close and it's framed in a totally different way... that doesn't stop my inner dialogue though from wondering. It is through these moments of wonder that I continue to grow my skills in compassion and empathy, reduce assumptions, and attempt to increase gratitude.
I was thinking about monogamy yesterday and today. I have been thinking about what I want in a relationship, and that has always been at the forefront of my need in relationships. I know there are a number of people in my life (family and friends both) that I respect who do not subscribe to or value monogamy in their personal lives. My belief here is not to challenge those people's beliefs; rather, it is to explain my own. A loving, committed relationship between two consenting adults can be one of the best things human life has to offer. Regardless of gender combination in the relationship, it can be a happy, peaceful, loving sort of existence that fulfills the mind, the spirit, the heart, and the body. Do I want to share my life with many people? Yes! With friends and family who love and care about me. In addition to those relationships, I want to share my body and spirit as well as intimate details of my heart/mind with one person. I want to know that that person and I have a sacred sort of trust together and that there is something special we only share with each other. I don't think it's right to depend on your partner so heavily that you interact with no one else and have no one else in the world to rely on--that's unhealthy co-dependence. But it's important to have that bond to share with someone and know that they value and respect you to the fullest. Monogamy is something I hold in high regard. I recognize that monogamy can be challenging, especially if a relationship is in a failing or ailing state. Out of respect for your partner and yourself though, it's important to be committed. If commitment is no longer possible, it is necessary to be honest with everyone involved. I'm pretty much of the thought process for others' relationships that as long as everyone knows what's going on (open, honest, consenting), I don't really care what people do. For me though, monogamy all the way.
<3 KMS
2 comments:
I like that you are thinking, processing and learning from your own challenges and experiences but also from those relationships that you see others in. All relationships can be challenging but I totally agree that being committed is important. If you aren't committed to what you are doing and who you are with then it's pretty pointless, monogamous or otherwise. Love you. Mom
All relationships are challenging for sure in some way or another. Without commitment, you've got nothing. Gotta agree with you there!!
Post a Comment