I am taking a short hiatus from Facebook, so in the meantime, I decided to come back to this blog. This has been an interesting week, with definite highs and definite lows. I am once again making an effort to eat better and joined the gym, so I am going to 24-Hour Fitness and focusing more on my health lately. I went crazy today on the elliptical and spent a little over an hour. See the attached photo! As you can tell, I finally got the battery replaced in my heart rate monitor watch. :-) I have also been doing a lot more reading of fact novels and Unitarian Universalist works. I am learning a lot about myself, and learning a lot (whether I like it or not) about other people in my life. I feel isolated frequently and tend to turn toward introversion, which certainly does not help with feelings of isolation. I look forward to Sunday when I get to go to church and feel peaceful, and for the most part I look forward to going to music rehearsals. The school year is winding down, which is scary because there is so much left to do. At the same time, it is such a relief because I am quite ready for summer.
Spring is supposed to be a time of growth and beauty, yet this spring has felt like a time of death. I suppose rebirth follows death, but it is never easy on the heart. It is not difficult to tell who my real friends are, but it is incredibly disheartening to see how few I have. I don't say this to wallow in pity, and I am not insinuating that there are not a lot of people who care about me in the world. There is such a big difference between an electronic relationship and a real life relationship/friendship. Sites like Facebook deceive us. It's almost like a popularity contest, where we craft the perfect version of our existence for everybody to see. It is like putting oneself on a billboard to be hung up in a metropolis. The ugly is often suppressed, while face-fat-hiding selfies are prominent. The quantity of friends is more important than quality. I am guilty. I know I won't be away from Facebook forever. I will likely return within just a couple of weeks. I anticipate my friend list getting a bit shorter. I need to make sure it doesn't take over my life. If you love me or if I mean anything to you, let's make plans in person. You know, real life. Let's be more than Facebook friends.
Lastly, a beautiful meditation for you: http://www.uua.org/worship/words/meditations/58060.shtml
KMS
8 comments:
I'm glad you are hitting the gym again. I know it makes you feel better and it's an opportunity to meet other people too. Make sure and check the message and activity boards there.
Spring is rebirthing time. All that lays cold and "in the appearance of death" begins to unfurl if it is healthy enough to do so.
We planted many plants today. It felt good to get my hands dirty even if my back liked it less.
I love you. I'd annoy you with visits and offers to hang out if you were up here. I'd leave skype on all the time if you wanted me too and we could pretend we were in the same space a room away.
I have plans to see you near Thanksgiving on your turf. I just need dates. And I hope to see you soon up this way. I hope we can work something out. I love you so so much.
You are the best sort of friend. I hope people know that.
Mom
Wow, everything you said about FB is true. I have the same feelings about how people portray themselves. I trusted people because of the way they portrayed themselves and through keeping my eye on things found that they weren't what I thought. I have always tried to be myself and stay away from conflicts.
Travel is financially beyond my means with the exception of the vacation we take once a year but I have had the fantasy of seeing you in TX and also visiting your mom.
I can never understand how outgoing people have to deal with loneliness but it happens. Don't hold yourself back in some illusion of safety. Like the Grath Brooks song about avoiding the pain but in doing that you miss the dance. Don't miss the dance. Windmist, giggling, haven't used that nic in a long time
Thanks for the comment mom. The gym definitely makes me feel better. I have more energy and feel like I am reaching my goals. I don't know that I'll meet new people that way... I spend the whole time with my ear buds in. Spring is like a Phoenix rising from the ashes... it will be a gorgeous sight. ;-) I'm glad you had a chance to garden the other day. Reconnecting with the earth is so satisfying. I love you too and appreciate you reaching out to me. Thanksgiving will be fun. I have the week of Thanksgiving off from work. :-)
Thanks for stopping by "Windmist", lol! It's been awhile since I've heard that handle too. Makes me smile. It is hard to be yourself and stay away from conflict, especially if you see things you disagree with and want to feel like you're contributing toward the light of truth. I know it's not possible for you to come visit, but if that ever changes, give me a shout.
I think I deceive people often by seeming like an outgoing person. I am far from that. I get comfortable with people I know well and TRUST, but otherwise I am withdrawn and shy, especially in social situations. I am truly an introvert with extrovert-seeming spurts. I love the Garth Brooks song you mentioned. I am not a stranger to doing things alone, and I am not scared of doing things alone... I am just missing some people these days. <3
My problem with Facebook is that it is so fake! These people request to be your friend only to stalk your page and see what you are doing, but if you see them out and about in person, they will ignore you. I've had this happen on more than on occasion. And when it does...when they look at me and see me, and turn away...I delete them. I should add that they turn away and ignore me before I even have a chance to say hello too. Jerks! lol.
If we lived near each other, I'd make plans in person with you! And it is disheartening to realize as we've gotten older we have fewer friends, but it's nice too, because we've been able to weed out those who aren't true friends or are using us, and we can have only good friends. Like you said, quantity over quality.
You know I'm always just a text away if you need to talk to someone. ♥
WooHoo the whole week of TG off? When do you clock out of work the week before? I need to know so I can book travel. That funny train that connects New Orleans to Houston doesn't run every day.
Loved hearing you sing today.
Mom
Mom, there's no way to know the exact time I'm done with work the week before. Our schedule is going to be different next school year. If you can aim for anytime on Saturday (if the train is running then), that would be best for me. Or run a few times by me and I'll say yay or nay.
Okay. I don't think the train funs on Sunday so I will look at arriving in New Orleans on Thursday or Friday and getting the train on Saturday.
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