Negativity vs. Positivity

I want to explore two quotes. One is from a well-known, beloved, respected woman who passed away last week. The other is from an online quiz. Yep, very different places of origin, yet both quite insightful!

First of all, here is a quote from the late Maya Angelou. This quote comes from an interview Oprah did with Angelou. It is absolutely worth the read. Click here to check it out.

"I believe that a negative statement is poison. The air between you and me is filled with sounds and images. If that were not so, how is it that I can turn on a television right now and see what's happening in New York? That means sounds and images are in the air, crowded, jammed up like bats. And Oprah, I'm convinced that the negative has power. It lives. And if you allow it to perch in your house, in your mind, in your life, it can take you over. So when the rude or cruel thing is said—the lambasting, the gay bashing, the hate—I say, "Take it all out of my house!" Those negative words climb into the woodwork and into the furniture, and the next thing you know they'll be on my skin."

-Maya Angelou

I agree that there is so much power in negativity. If we allow it to fester and rule our lives, we will be miserable forever and will bring the people around us down into our misery. Hateful statements about people bury themselves just under the skin and eat away at us until we are nothing unless we learn to protect ourselves. Sometimes the act of protecting ourselves leaves us immune to positive emotions or the ability to trust (building up a wall against others). The only appropriate response is to refute the negative comments/statements and refuse to be around the people who continue to make them. Ridding ourselves of negative people drastically improves our lives and does so quickly! Conversely, there is so much power in the positive. If we can find ways to show kindness, generosity, and love to others on a daily basis, imagine how much more wonderful and beautiful our world would be! Imagine if we spent our energy more wisely, channeling the negativity into positivity instead. Imagine if we stopped passing judgment on each other, stopped saying hateful things to each other, stopped hurting each other to the core... and just loved each other. What a fine and beautiful world we would have! Think for a moment... The last time you heard someone make a joke or statement that was racist, homophobic, sexist, etc., did you stand up and say something? Or did you just let it go or perhaps even participate? People who stand at the sidelines witnessing the direct or indirect degradation of others are still participants unless they stand up and say something.

-----------------------------

I'm sure at some point you've taken one of those silly 10-question internet quizzes. Maybe you discovered what Disney princess you are, what your spirit animal is, or that you're an introvert or extrovert. Sometimes these silly little quizzes yield foolish answers, and these silly little quizzes always waste time. ;-) 

I took a quiz yesterday called "What Element Are You?", and I want to share the answer and the paragraph that followed because they are so insightful and are totally "me".

"Your element is WATER. There is a lot of depth to you, probably much more than you let on. You prefer peace and little conflict, but you have no issue standing your ground when you are wronged. You have deep emotional currents, some you can't even explain, many might be intuitive. You must remember that despite your strong empathy, you cannot judge people so quickly. You also need to learn that it is okay to say no. Your avoidance of problems leaves you in more trouble than when you deal with them. That aside, you are seen to be full of love and wonderful energy. You can help people relax and bring them back to a healthy state from a toxic one."

I would agree that there is a lot of depth to me mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. If you agree with this, it's probably because you and I are close or were at one time. I don't open up to just anyone with my deep thoughts (SNL flashback there!), so when I get close to you and trust you, it's surprising how much you learn. I hate hate hate conflict. Peacefully is how I would prefer to live my life. I've taken many measures over the last few years to either distance myself from or remove negative people from my life. Everyone is allowed to be negative sometimes, but if someone else's negativity is detrimental to my mental health over a period of time, a change is in order. I am deeply emotional and have compassion and empathy for what others are going through in their lives. It's interesting how emotional I can get about someone else's situation or life when it doesn't actually impact me at all. I care so much about the people in my life that their struggles, pain, and hurt are often mine too. In the past I was told that I'm judgmental--that's something I've been actively working on for a few years. It's gotten better, but every human judges others in some way or another, whether positively or negatively. I've gotten better at saying "no" at work, which is so liberating and fantastic! Generally I am a loving person. Sometimes too withdrawn and shy-seeming, I can also be vivacious and energetic if the people around are people I trust and care about. If you happen to take the silly little time-wasting quiz, let me know what you are. If you get something other than water, paste the description too! :-)