A Letter to My Future Wife

Thanks, as always, for reading. If you choose to respond, which I highly encourage, please don't judge my thoughts or ideas against yours. This may seem a peculiar thing to write about, but it's been in my head for a while.

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A Letter to My Future Wife:

It is July 21, 2014. I know you’re out there somewhere. Maybe we’ve met, maybe we haven’t. I am writing this letter to you so you have some insight about me, about the woman I am right now at this very moment, about things I’ve been through, and more… unapologetically written.

I’ve experienced love. I’ve experienced loss. It’s hard to say if I regret loving someone when the price was so high or if I’m thankful to have felt love at all. Sometimes I feel like I’ll never love again… Though if you’re going to be my wife, I must love you more than life itself. I can be very giving and extraordinarily selfless. I am highly in touch with my emotions and have a sturdy sense of self. I hope you do too. I know life is not always easy. Our love may endure hardship, but it should never be hard to love each other. We should never take each other for granted. We should be honest with each other no matter what. We should respect each other. That is what you deserve, and that is what I deserve. I am a good listener. I will reassure and affirm you often. I will tell you how much I love you and how much you deserve love. I will forgive you for the things in your past, spoken and unspoken. I hope you will forgive the mistakes I’ve made prior to our meeting as well as any mistakes I’ve made and will make since we’ve known each other. I try to keep my heart from becoming hard despite the trials I endure before we are together. I know that when you come to me, you will be (imperfectly) perfect in my eyes, but you’ll have endured hardship too. You will come to me with scars on your heart and your soul, and I will try my best to help you heal.

I hope you will believe in yourself. I hope you will understand why you deserve my love and why the world, as cruel a place as it can be, is worth living in. I hope you’ll believe in me. I can be a stubborn fool sometimes. This may be trying and frustrating sometimes. For example, I might try to change your way of cutting a vegetable because I perceive your way to be inefficient. It’s not that I think you’re incompetent. Obviously you’ve been succeeding in cutting vegetables for years. It’s not a slight on your character or ability. It’s the teacher in me trying to show you something new and different as well as to find some sort of confirmation that I can do something well. You probably will want to tell me to stop or leave you alone, and that’s okay. If you love me enough to point out the annoyance kindly, I will listen and try to fix my commentary. I am very perceptive of emotions. I will struggle to leave you alone if something is obviously wrong. I will want you to talk to me, and it will be hard for me to see you hurting. I will think I can solve everything if I just know all of the facts, though I know it’s not always helpful. Please don’t shut me out. If you need time before talking about things, that’s okay. But please don’t leave me out of your head and your heart and your soul. That’s where relationships are. Sometimes things will be hard, but I can promise you that a life with me will fulfill you. I am selfless in relationships, sometimes to a fault, so please encourage me to keep growing and doing what I love. You should keep growing too. Don’t let me lose my identity… let it join side by side with yours. In fact, let us grow together. That’s important to me. Being with me will fulfill you mentally, spiritually, and physically. Being with you needs to fulfill me in those ways too.

I have experienced emotional pain and physical pain at the hands of people I loved and who loved me. Promise me you will do your best to keep me safe. Promise me that we will be a team and will work through struggles as adults, not immaturely. Promise me we will work through struggles together. We will never ever have a physical altercation. I should know your love through your words, your actions, and your touch. You should know that I don’t look at marriage lightly. You should know that if I let you into my heart, you must mean the world to me. You may have had to scale a few walls to get in. You should know that I want our relationship to be the only one I’m in for the rest of my life. I want to be faithful to you (and only you) and need the same in return. I want you to realize that I am amazing and imperfect, and I see the same in you. I accept your dark side and hope you accept mine too. Together we can be the light. I look forward to a happy life with you and hope I mean as much to you as you do to me.

All the love in my heart,

KMS