Things Aren't Always What They Seem

When I was growing up, I loved to play with Barbies and dolls. I enjoyed the occasional Lego excursion, but I had an entire city built in the basement at one point. There were Barbie cars, limousines, clothes, accessories, room... All of it. There were babies, children, Barbies and Kens. I didn't play around. My sister would play with me and eventually my cousin and I would play together too. In addition to loving playing Barbies, I loved playing with dolls. I would play teacher, doctor, mommy... The whole bit! I had a lot of "children" and would name them and dress them in frilly dresses or swaddle them in baby blankets while feeding a bottle. My imagination was very active. I loved doing crafts and loved the color purple. Painting, drawing, and writing were some of my favorite things to do.

I was heartfelt and emotional (still am really) and liked wearing dresses and feeling pretty. I remember asking Santa Claus for a pretty purple velvet dress one year and got it... I felt like a princess. In these ways, I was perfectly content. In middle school, it was body sprays and hairspray.

I think about the way our society perceives gender and sexuality. My tendencies as a child would be perceived as girly (and "normal"). Who would have guessed I'd turn out to love women instead of men? We are not all stereotypes. One of the things that makes me saddest about perception in society is that people become the victims of labels. Why labels are so important boggles me. We need to label everything and put it in a neat, tidy box. We label each other and ourselves. Instead of labeling a couple as "lesbian", can we just look at their traits or quality of life? Maybe they're happy. Or loving toward one another.

I remember a conversation I had with my friend who was confused when we first met. I had shown her pictures of cakes I decorated, so she promptly labeled me as "straight" because... that's not something gay girls do? What? My sexuality determines my ability to bake and decorate cakes? What a world!

Being gay doesn't mean I'm very different from anyone my age. As a young woman, I still dream of true love. I still hope to marry... Travel... Settle down some day with a wonderful person with whom I choose to share my soul and heart. The only difference is that I don't want that future to be intimately shared with a man. That little girl who loved the color purple, had a wild imagination, and loved to be creative... Still does.